A selection of Maitresse Nuit aka Nuit d'Or's articles on the psychology of BDSM & kink, relationship dynamics between Dominant & submissive, adventures in BDSM, evocative, erotic and very transgressive memoirs of past sessions. Here you can dive in the “BDSM Chronicles” which you can listen to on Patreon.
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CHASTITY AND ORGASM DENIAL, DISPLACING FOCUS FROM SELF TO SERVICE AND SUBMISSION: EXPANDING POWER EXCHANGE IN FEMALE LEAD RELATIONSHIPS.
One of the fundamental tools of Power Exchange is orgasm control, denial and chastity. It encourages the submissive to forfeit their own gratification and channel the energy of desire and lust into the service and care of their Dominant. It opens up their attention to other areas of their life which can blossom with the re-directed energy.
One of the conundrum of D/s is about service and care:
Allegedly the submissive pledges their service and obedience to their Dominant, yet they rarely acknowledge the care involved in taking them in training, and the creativity, skills expanded in exploring with them their sexual urges, fantasies etc. Whilst they might appreciate the ingenuity and talent a Dominant deploys when nailing, thus gratifying a particular trigger, they mistake it for submission, service and care. The power exchange doesn’t really happen. The Dominant might still feel the joy and power in her accomplishment in leading her submissive to their place of bliss, yet knows that power exchange can be deepened.
Consensual Power Exchange demands a psychological, sometimes a spiritual expression, whether acknowledged intellectually or not. It demands an integration of sexuality into one’s one psyche and offers the possibility of transformation into a more harmonious, whole.
One of the fundamental tools of Power Exchange is orgasm control, denial and chastity…
This is just the beginning. The rest is for members only.
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BDSM POWER GAMES: PUSHING LIMITS and PLAYING AT THE EDGE OF THE UNBEARABLE.
“I want him to endure for my pleasure, though not at my hands. I will not be the one feeding him the energy of dominance; I will watch, preside, and contain the scene within the hierarchy of power: Maîtresse at the pinnacle, Master as the executor, and [helot] as the supplicant and devotee.”
Testing the limits of power: Today, Maîtresse offers [helot] to Ars Lucis to submit to male dominance for her pleasure. A ritual of hierarchy, trust, and surrender.
“I wish that I could go
Through the red doors where I could put off
My shame like shoes in the porch,
My pain like garments,
And leave my flesh discarded lying
Like luggage of some departed traveller
Gone one knows not where.
Then I would turn round,
And seeing my cast-off body lying like lumber,
I would laugh with joy.”
D.H. Lawrence “In Trouble and Shame”
I am seated alone in the crimson room,
the warm glow of candles enhancing the texture of the damask drapes, picking up the reds in the intricate geometrical design of the Persian knotted carpet.
The flickering flames soften the almost black walls, making their darkness seem velvety rather than oppressive, and temper the discomforting whiteness of the bespoke gynaecological bench that stands ominously against one side of the room.
Sage smoke twists and curls in languid arabesques, tracing ancient patterns in the air, while the soft ululations of an invocation, as old as desire itself, rise and fall with hypnotic cadence.
The ritual has already started, although [helot*], my slave, has not yet entered the room.
It began the moment he knocked on the door, his body and mind filled with anticipation, nerves, excitement, and a flicker of foreboding…
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The Collaring Ceremony: A Ritual of Passage in Power Exchange
“M-von-s watches as the blade tears the diaphanous fabric, each fibre severed with careful precision. He The initiate does not miss the way her breath catches, nor the manner her body tenses at the steel’s kiss. The knowledge that he the new slave will follow where she leads coils within, a tightening thread of devotion and fear.
“She is both slave and Goddess. Be mindful of the pain she receives tonight—you will endure the same. Accept it with the same grace.”
There is no hesitation. M-von-s nods, absorbing my words, understanding their weight. To take pain is not simply to endure; it is to receive. It is an exchange, an offering, and a claim.
The slave watches marie gwendoline’s ordeal.
Supported by sergei, she yields to the whip.”
A collaring ceremony is a ritual of passage, marking the deepening of the power exchange between Dominant and submissive.
PROLOGUE
A collaring ceremony is a ritual of passage, marking the deepening of the power exchange between Dominant and submissive. It is also intensely personal and marks a new stage, and level of mutual commitment in that journey. In the world of BDSM, such ceremonies serve as rites of initiation, evoking echoes of ancient vows, religious consecration, and the investiture of knights. To be collared is to be transformed, to cross the threshold from independent selfhood into a state of submission where one’s identity is reframed through service, devotion, and surrender.
The ritual is a crucible of endurance, trust, and irrevocable commitment. My dominance is accepted as absolute within the context of D/s, yet it is layered with a calculated interplay of discipline and reverence, demanding not just obedience but spiritual surrender. The ceremony is designed to strip my soon to be collared slave - of any lingering resistance, symbolically breaking him open so that he may be reforged—his pain, his sacrifice, his blood serving as the currency of his submission.
I am not alone conducing this rite. Three other Mistresses—Miss Meyers, Mistress Siren, and Lady Lola—each embodying a facet of feminine dominance and power—stand as witnesses, initiators, and deities before whom the submissives must prove their worth. They are priestesses of the rite, shaping and testing the submissive spirit of my long time devotee and now initiate slave m-von-s…
The rest lies behind the curtain.
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