THE CHASTITY CAGE | acknowledging male chastity as a sacred offering | key holding beyond the device

Content

There are many ways we can play BDSM games. I favour playing deeply, with complete attention, with a deference to the Sacred that we create when we are absorbed and we go beyond ourselves. For a moment, we are suspended, at one.

In this article, I've attempted to transform a "chastity device" into a sacred implement, and a "ruined orgasm" into a sacred act.

Define, control, install : transformation into an acolyte of the Goddess

“Sacrifice is nothing other than the production of sacred things”. Georges Bataille

Naked as you are, in this position of humble offering, in the tranquility of this ancient house, in the presence of your Mistress and teacher, a sense of peace floods over you, benign like the morning Spring sun which envelops you. 

You follow the sound of the door quietly closing and my footsteps on the blond sandstone, the scrapping of the chair which I pull away from the little desk. The heels are not stilettos. 

You feel my hand on your upper back, briefly intimating some muscles to relax before i sit. You feel the proximity of one of my foot as I cross my legs. Then, when the ball of my foot finally reposes on your right shoulder, the image of a 3 inches square heeled boots that you’ve seen before forms in your head. 

You have polished these boots in the past and you know that I favour them for long walks in town. They are differently dangerous than stilettos or my bespoke thigh high heels boots, they speak of having to crawl fast on your four as you try to keep up with my pace. They speak of balance and the effortless possibility for me  and of being easily trampled for you. 

For now, nothing of the sort happens, you just feel the weight of the ball of my foot on your right shoulder as I extend my other leg which length rests on your back, and you recognise the rounded square heel which edge dents the top of your left buttock. You take pleasure in the closeness you feel at this objectification: you are supporting my stance, maybe you are providing comfort to my legs? There is relief in this simple moment: you are of use, your will blissfully erased, your ego evaporating in the knowledge of service to come, and with this, an exhilarating sense of freedom washes over you.

During this retreat, you will  deepen your service and worship of the Feminine Principle, the Goddess in all her forms and attributes and you will participate in a ceremony inspired by the ancient cult of Kybele and Attis.The purpose of which is to balance light and shadow, Feminine and Masculine.

The transformation of a devotee such as you are into an acolyte of the Goddess is fourfold:

  •  Service:                    helping in the kitchen and serving meals

                  cleaning feet

                  attendance to procession

                  carrying the implements of sacrifice: athame, torches and candle, bells, whip.

                      pouring libations

                    light bearing

• Pain training :         flagellation

                      suturing 

                      isolation - burying 

• Hetaira training: dress 

                posture and deportment

                objectification

                worshipping and being a vessel 

• Reflecting:       You will keep a journal of your day and reflect on your experience, 

For the duration of the training, you will remain in chastity until the last ceremony which will end in you making a vow of a year long chastity. 

You will wear this long shirt and sarouel pants when working in the kitchen and serving at my table.You will eat your meals in your room. And you will be  naked but for your chastity cage for the rest of the time. You will only talk when spoken to. You know your safe words and will use them intelligently. 

In this place, everything we think, feel and do is an act of devotion. We transform the humblest of our tasks to the most transgressive and indecent into a sacred offering to the Goddess. 

We turn upon its head the madness of our times. We push the boundaries of our rational wills, our urges, our desires and fantasies by an immersion into sensation, into the superlative of excess. We transform our relationship to the world, its creatures and artefacts by communing with them. Intimacy, awe and sometimes ecstasy are the rewards of Sacrifice.

« Le sacrifice restitue au monde sacré ce que l’usage servile a dégradé, rendu profane” Georges Bataille

You listen attentively. My words merge with your longings. The sense of freedom, like a gentle warm wave of blood which source seems to be springing in your heart, soaks the inside of your chest, your abdomen, your genitals, flows along your arms and legs to the tip of your fingers and toes, and finally spills up your throat to fill your head. 

Formless, liquid, languid, you exist for a moment in this arcadian state.

I observe your transformation, and feel your plasticity under my boot as the wave of calm engulfs you. 

From the walnut writing desk I take your collar, a little softer now after a year of rituals.

Kneel in Nadu.

It takes a little while for my voice to reassemble your molecules and for you to reintegrate your body and your mind enough to assume the requested shape. The collar has a mysterious effect: it holds you in form: corporal, mental, emotional and erotic. 

My hands are cold against your skin, this enhances the goosebumps of the ritual and hardens the erection that commenced the second you kneeled in “humble offering”. The wave of warm blood seems to have concentrated in your cock… 

You think you know what comes next…

I watch perplexity redefine your features, the blue of your eyes suddenly overcast, deepens, your brow tenses for a bit.

I pick up the surgical steel chastity cage and smile.

Since it looks like you will not be able to fit into your little cage, we will have to make you shrink. You will masturbate and release on the count of ten. 

I count backwards.

You take your balls into your left hand- its been a Week since you last relased - They are tight, heavy. Your cock throbs, so sensitive.

7 and half….Stop

You pant and squeeze your perineal muscles, restricting the flow of sperm, hot and spurious.

Tension… between your urge to come, your fascination with your own seed, your will and compliance with my order. Then comes the second layer of erotic delight in the form of being the voluntary subject and slave to my will, whims and decisions. Your cock is harder still.

I resume counting. 

6, 5, 4, 

You let yourself surf on my voice, confident that climax is near when I stop you again. So near … yet… so far. 

A doubt creeps in your mind…. 

Wood pigeons coo somewhere under the roof. The stridulations of crickets has intensified. From deep inside the house you hear hushed footsteps, doors quietly opened and closed.

Hands behind your neck.

The wax of a thin church candle drips on your balls, then on the length of your still throbbing cock… and on the gland.

Swiftly, I pass your soften member and balls through the ring and your cock slips into the cage which I lock.

Maîtresse NUIT

This article is a transcript of episode #4 of “The Return of Ishtar” podcast series which you can hear on Patreon. You might enjoy listening  to the entire series of The Return of Ishtar I have created for my podcast on Patreon. Join me at In Praise of Shadows  ||  The BDSM Chronicles at: https://www.patreon.com/BDSM_Chronicles 

BDSM FOR COUPLES | Sessions, Rituals, Ceremonies, Mentoring and Coaching

I know from experience, being in a committed lifestyle D/s relationship myself, that BDSM partnerships have the possibility of being deeply fulfilling. 

They also can go badly wrong when people confuse “abuse” with “Dominance”, or forget to communicate. Also, when a Dominant or Sadist doesn’t have the correct skills required for certain activities, or a sub doesn't know or want to communicate his/her preference, hard and soft limits, a session can turn into a nightmare that could have been avoided with the appropriate training, researches. 

Honest communication on both parts is the cornerstone of consensual relationships, they can’t exist without this essential ingredient. 

It follows that this model transpires more readily in all areas of life than in a lot of vanilla partnerships. Plus it is fun and sexy to get involved together in learning more about what turns us on.

In this article, I give an account of some of the ways I work with couples. This is not exhaustive; as we all know that there are as many avenues to expressing our sexuality as there are people.

It takes a lot of courage both from a Dominant and a submissive to vow to be authentic and explore with openness what might turn each of us on, this creates a deeper sense of connection and love.

Because there is nothing like real live experiences, I have chosen a few examples of wonderful couples I have worked with which may sound partly relevant to your own journey. Or, if you are just starting to explore the vast - if very niche - territory of BDSM and kink, these little windows into other couples stories, might interest you.

1/ The young Mistress and her sub

BDSM mentoring, coaching and teaching 

She looks lovely in her leather skirt and her lace shirt revealing a gorgeous brassiere. She wears flat buckled black suede shoes. She is both confident and inquisitive, playful and bossy. She allows her puppy/slave to kiss her hands whilst wiggling his tail. Slave, exhausted after the session is very, very eager to oblige his cherished Mistress and wife... It is a lovely scene to behold.

During the coaching /thinking phase which happened previous to the session, Alia* and I, explored her style, her persona, and areas of uncertainty. Her slave wasn't present during this "Thinking Time". 

Alia is fairly new to this world: she has just finished the Dominatrix Seven Realm Arts™ certificate course with authoress and sex Educator Anne O Nommis*. Now she wants to get a broader experience by trying activities that she feels both, her husband and her will enjoy. 

We discuss the particular of the two techniques that we will work on this evening and review the plan of the session; We will integrate these "new" forms of play into the ensuing 1h30' 2.2.1 session that I have sketched in advance of their appointment. In this way, they will both benefit from the session: she can practice her favourite games and discover new "vocabulary" under guidance. 

He will be able to bask in glorious "sub-space" being dominated by two Women. She will also pick up things that she might use at a later stage on her own by shadowing me. 

2/ rose and her new Master: A celebration of love 

BDSM Couple session

Her voice is warm and vibrant; I haven't seen her in one year, rose explains that she has found a new Master and she has found love, may they visit for a session where I will dominate her for him. I remember rose very well: she is petite, golden, a mischievous masochist / submissive with a gorgeous smile. She embraces and endures pain with so much grace, sensuality and joy that it is a true delight to witness. I am glad to hear that she has found someone who might be as talented and dedicated as herself. 

Masters visit me sometimes with their submissives but in my space, I lead the dance. As in all cases, I exchange emails with both Mistress or Master and submissive (or two submissives). I thus get a feeling for both of them. This helps me either to create a Ritual around the event they wish to mark, tailor a session and/or get a sense of where mentoring could be needed, techniques improved or explored. We will define the goal(s) just before the session or the first of a series of sessions. 

During this exchange, we may find areas that need addressing, D/s dynamics, logistics, confidence, balancing reality and fantasy, managing expectations, communication... They will be discussed during coaching sessions. One to one coaching or "Thinking" sessions with either partner and both. The idea is to assist the D/s (or M/s) relationship flourish and both partners feel their desires are being met. Which can prove tricky at times.

3/ Victoire and slave b: flexing and stretching 

BDSM Mentoring session for a Lifestyle Dominatrix with my slave

Victoire is a remarkable Woman, she is beautiful, intelligent, intuitive, strong, caring and creative. A student of Anne O Nomis, she has been incorporating BDSM in her life ever since her husband confessed - after many years of marriage - that he is a submissive, always has been and can not repress this important part of himself anymore. Open and curious, she set out to explore how she could find “the Mistress” in herself. This led to various experiments with her husband and partner and also to the excellent course referred above. 

It is at the point of concluding the certificate that she contacted me for hands-on training without her husband. She planed to attend sessions here with her husband at a later stage of her training. And they did, several times.

Attending sessions without her partner whilst exploring her Dominatrix Persona, she could freely express herself without having her slave offering comments and directions during their play. She could also try various activities to have a feel for them on her own, without needing to “please” her beloved husband. 

In these sessions, I am assisted by one of my slaves who I know well. Because we trust each other, my slaves know that I will have their back whilst a novice Mistress stretches her wings. They know that I will insist on a careful awareness of where they are at any time, they know that I will enhance Nurturing, Connection, Communication and After Care.

Parallel to this, she comes for coaching / Thinking sessions to integrate the work done, to talk about how she is evolving into this nascent persona, the emotions or thoughts that might have been triggered in sessions. We explore how best she can incorporate BDSM into her life. Issues often crop up, especially in a couple who had a long vanilla relationship before switching to a BDSM lifestyle. 

4/ Amelia and georg: the Renewal of vows

BDSM Ritual Ceremony

georg contacted me to arrange a special ceremony for the 20th anniversary of his marriage with his Mistress. I understood that this celebration was both a celebration and an atonement on his part.

Amelia on her side wanted to renew her commitment and show her love to her sub/husband in the way they best enjoyed. They both wanted to reconnect to the magical space of their attachment to one another. I was to hold the space, be thee Disciplinarian and the withness of this deeply moving ritual with a seasoned couple.

These sessions don't require mentoring nor do they demand coaching. I am a privileged officiant and attendant to a very intimate event. 

5/ sam and sara: two submissives

BDSM couple session: one Mistress, two submissives

What happens when two persons have both a thirst to submit? 

There are many paths to explore for couples who desire to submit. Sara and sam have found many creative ways to explore their sexuality. sam and sara are kinky partners. They go to events where they play with other participants and they see Mistresses. In their amorous life, sara often plays the Dominant and they visit me when sara feels like being played with whilst her partner, in some sort of predicament, watches her delighting in pain and pleasure administered by a third person. 

Sara's exhibitionism and masochism as well as the impossibility to take part in what is happening nor to relieve himself due to strong bondage and forced chastity is ecstasy for sam.

Maîtresse Nuit

All participants names have been changed in order to preserved their identity

Should you wish to enquire about a BDSM Couple Session, Ritual or Ceremony, email me

If you want to know more about BDSM mentoring and Coaching consult this page and if you are interested in either or both, email me

Read

• The History of the Dominatrix by Anne O Nommis

• BDSM 101 by Rev. Jen is a must.

• The New Bottoming Book and its sister The New Topping Book by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy are essential in BDSM aficionados bookshelves.

• Thinking Time or Thinking Session is how I like to call my Coaching sessions. I recommend anyone interested in D/s and intimate and authentic relationships to read this book on Listening: Time to Think by Nancy Kline.